Started in the middle of 1989 when my wife and I found out she was pregnant with our first child. We both did not drink or smoke and we had quality medical care at the military hospital. We were excited about becoming parents for the first time. We were in our early to middle 20’s and fully ready to have children.
The pregnancy progressed normally, we started out purchases of baby items. Even found and awesome crib that we just loved. We spent our days planning and preparing for our new joy. Our little Isuzu pick-up truck would be too small for both of us and a new baby, but since we had just purchased it, we couldn’t just trade it in or get rid of it. So they idea came about that we would drive to my mom’s house in New Mexico and leave the truck and use her car. So in November we packed our truck and drove over 12 hours to her home.
Arrived at my mom’s home, which happened to be in the same town as her parents. We were greeted by excitement and much happiness. Finally, our parents would be grandparents (as if no one else has experienced that pressure!). Enjoyed our mini-vacation back home, but had to stop by the quick-stop market before heading back. We came out of the store and I opened the car door for her, just then she said she couldn’t stop urinating! We stood there confused but I realized it wasn’t urine. What to do!?!?!
We panicked and drove to her parents’ house, unsure what just happened or what to do. After discussing it with her mom, I drove her to the hospital as fast as I could. She was rushed into emergency and examined. We were scared and confused as what was actually happening as she was only about 6 months along. Then the doctor came in.
She explained that my wife’s water had broken and there was nothing they could do to stop the birth. But at so early of a pregnancy, the baby would not survive. Complete and utter devastation came over us, I was in shock and my wife was crying. They came back and removed the baby which was a girl, we named her Lacy. Later they removed the placenta and moved my wife into recovery. We found out that the cause was from an Incompetent Cervix.
There was nothing we could have done to prevent it, it just happened from an unseen and unknown condition my wife had. But how can we fix it for the future? Can it be fixed? Discovered that for the next baby, the doctors would wait until after the first trimester was complete (in case of a miscarriage), then they would go to the cervix through the vaginal opening and perform a Cervical Cerclage.
The drive back home in California was long and depressing, but we agreed to go ahead and try again for another baby, no matter what the process would be. She was determined to have a baby. Lacy would always be with us and I took comfort that she would be raised by the ultimate father, our Father in Heaven. I knew she would be in paradise and that helped us both through the pain.